"Graduation"

When I began this journey in December it seemed as though this would last forever. Prior to my MRI, I remember thinking how long 6 weeks sounded (the estimate I was given before finding out I had to have complete knee reconstruction). Come to find out that those 6 weeks would be replaced with 6 months and my senior year of dance had ended before it had even really began. 

Next week I will be fully released to return to perhaps the biggest light in my life - dance. I cannot believe I am saying this, but I am a little sad to leave my team of therapists who love me, pray for me, support me, and truly wish the best for me. I am proud of my diligence, drive, and courage to be where I am today. However, I know I could've never done it alone. Rocky, my therapist, even has me running... which my dancer knees could have never done, even before my surgery.

I wish I could explain just how life changing this experience has been, although I know I cannot put it in words. I remember how painful it was to hear someone say "6 months will fly by in no time," I am at four and a half months and I will still tell you it didn't fly. Imagine just for a minute taking away the thing that gives you the most joy. Even then, I don't think you can fully comprehend how it affects you mentally. 

Walt Disney said it's fun to do what others say you cannot. I agree completely. My first surgeon told me I would never dance the same again. I'm starting to think that he might be right after all, because now I will dance better. I've been able to grow as a human and a dancer and I realize that there is something incredibly powerful in a person who wants something more than breathing and life itself. For me, that was dancing. So when I was able to dance in my senior recital (just one simple solo) I found so much happiness and serenity in knowing that I was done. I had beaten this and I no longer had to feel pain and jealousy of not being able to do what it is I love so wholeheartedly. 

I realize, as I "graduate" from this chapter in my book the struggle is far from over. There will be days when my knee hurts, or screams at me, or just flat out doesn't want to work. I realize that when I return to dance my flexibility will not be where it was, and I will have to reteach my body to do movements as it used to. I am certain within the next few months my college preparation will at times be full of frustration, but I cannot let the pity party sink in. I am ready though. I have mentally become strong enough to handle a career in dance, and the job of Miss Oklahoma I am certain. 

I hope that as I continue on this path to future successes and plot twists, that you'll follow along as well. I am grateful for each person who supported me, cried with me, loved me, fought for me, and believed in me. Without you, I know I wouldn't have been able to push through this. Thank you to my Lord and Savior, I am forever amazed by what your Divine Will has in store for me.

Special thank you to my Theatre Arts Family, for never letting me feel out of the loop. I have had a blast being your teammate, and now biggest cheerleader. 

THANK YOU Jana and Jake Pfarr for reminding me on the bad days that this is still what I wanted to do. For letting me have meltdowns in your office because for lack of a better term, "it's just not fair." And for pushing me to be my best while continuing to learn the business, it's hard not to love it when I'm following in the footsteps of the best! 

These scars may show where I've been, but they certainly do not determine where I am going.

xoxo,

Heather