Don't think I forgot about you, I haven't at all! Miss Oklahoma week was a blast. I haven't blogged sooner simply because I could not find words to adequately describe the way I was inspired, motivated, and once again captivated by an organization I have grown to love so much.
As a regular pageant goer, I know Miss Oklahoma is a flurry of fans, friends, and each patron's very own take on who is going to make "the ten." In my reflection though, I decided I would make my very own top ten... Although a little different, I think this one may be far more important.
The Top Ten things I learned my rookie year at Miss Oklahoma:
(amongst many other things)
1. Be Prepared. Come Organized.
Everyone else will. Being a rookie is overwhelming as it is, and luckily I had a head start on the packing process since I was a part of the Outstanding Teen program. However, some girls just had no idea what they were in for. (and sometimes I still didn't!) Don't depend on the veterans to tell you everything. Yes, they are incredibly helpful, but the job of Miss Oklahoma requires a lot of independence so you better be ready at any given second. I recall feeling a little flustered on the first Sunday evening after a 6 hour rehearsal when Kent (the production choreographer) said to touch up your hair and makeup because the judges were coming!!! I was a little thrown off, knowing my hair and makeup left little to be desired because no where in our schedules, handbook, or notes from the Redcoats had anyone mentioned meeting the judges. I guess I went for the "natural" look that evening. Hey, ya live and you learn, right?
2. We don't all come from the same walk of life. "Pageant Girls" do not apply here.
As "pageant girls" we are often put in a box by others. Sometimes though, we even put each other in a box. When you spend a week with 47 women who are in their tip top shape, wearing their most beautiful clothes, and smiling their most beautiful and warm smiles it is sometimes hard to believe that the lives of all 47 of us may not be so charmed. I will never forget when a contestant a few chairs down from me in the dressing room shared with me how she was paying for college and had been taught only that she would have to work as a waitress the rest of her life. She was making history for her family, for her future. I remember so clearly returning to my dorm room and sobbing to my dearest friend on the phone that I felt so humbled and honestly unworthy. It was an incredible wake up call to me that although I have always been grateful for what I have, I am grateful for the life I have. It also clearly summed up for me what you represent as Miss Oklahoma, or for that matter a local title holder. The Miss Oklahoma Organization represents women of a future, working for their education, and changing lives all around them.
3. You are being watched. Always.
In the least creepy way possible of course! As a contestant for Miss Oklahoma, you are taken around Tulsa to meet sponsors and donors from many different venues. You meet with board members, judges, and of course the Kiwanians who give so much of their time to make the week as magical as possible for us. Although it is at the utmost importance that you're an exemplary representative of the organization to all of the above, I find that there are far more important eyes who never blink when in sight of you... little girls. As a former "Oklahoma Star" I recognize the excitement in their eyes when they see Miss Oklahoma contestants all week. I am a little partial, but I think I had the best little stars out there. Each night at visitation they came by to give me hugs. Of all the love and support I received all week after singing, the complement that meant the most to me was from one of my Stars. Lily had told me "I thought you were the best!" I know I was absolutely not the best singer on that stage, but when Lily told me that I so clearly knew that she truly did. I'm thankful for friendships with these bright and shining little girls, but most importantly I was reminded that I'm changing someone's life just by being me. I am enough.
4. Say "Thank You."
Say thank you as often as you can. It still won't be enough. My life has been so impacted by this organization that I don't think I could ever say thank you enough to justify the support and courage I have received from being a part of the Miss Oklahoma program. There are so many people behind closed doors who give their money and time to make us look great. It takes a village and the outcome is unreal every year. OKLAHOMA puts on the greatest pageant in the entire country, it also has the greatest support in the entire country too. Which feeds the caliber of women here vying for the title of Miss Oklahoma. So be thankful, don't ever forget how much others want you to succeed.
5. Be aware of the pageant stereotype, and be a force willing to change it.
I watched my first Miss Oklahoma be crowned at the young age of eight. I grew up with Miss Oklahoma as my role model. I have constantly been influenced by dazzling women competing for Miss Oklahoma, even if they never achieved the title. For me, I always struggled with realizing most people don't grow up that way. Miss Oklahoma is a far fetched idea, or a show they went to once in their lives. Being influenced the way I was, is more rare then not. Where I see the organization as a scholarship program that has fully paid for my college, and raised me to be the confident go-getter that I am today, some still see a "beauty pageant." I was judged by Roy Williams, the former Oklahoma Sooner and Dallas Cowboy. I was completely moved to tears when he took time to come to optional events, and even spoke to us at a breakfast the night Miss Oklahoma would be crowned. He openly admitted he didn't realize the impact we made, or truly what we stood for. However, over the week he had been so inspired he wanted to donate his own money to the scholarship fund so that it is possible for this program to continue on so strongly. If that isn't a testimony I don't know what is.
6. If you are afraid, do it anyway.
I think you all know by now that I had been battling a knee injury for about 6 months when Miss Oklahoma arrived. For the sake of my own health I decided to sing instead of dance for the talent portion. I felt confident and proud until I stood onstage for my talent rehearsal. It all fell to pieces... I remember feeling so upset and frustrated because I had worked so hard, had so many people pour into me, and was sure after those rehearsals absolutely no one could tell. That was the first time that week that I had cried out of discouragement. That day in particular we had a lot of down time so I went to my dorm room to decompress. I was confused. I never felt scared on a stage in my life. I was frustrated because my dream of winning rookie talent slipped out of my grasp. Somewhere in this day though I changed my outlook. Even though I was afraid, I wasn't going to do this for people who were judging me, I was doing this for myself. I worked hard and I deserved that moment onstage. It wasn't until after the pageant when I had spoke with many people and a reoccurring comment kept coming up. "I know you would've rather dance, but you sold that song." Ahhhh, but I wasn't selling it. What I feel most didn't realize was that not a second of the emotion was forced or fake. I had battled my worst nightmare for the last six months. I could not do the thing that has completed me for my entire lifetime. That 90 seconds was a very sweet victory over an injury I have learned a lot from. More importantly it was a celebration of the woman I have become.
7. Respect those who came before you.
As a rookie, you can come as prepared as possible but still not be ready for many aspects of the week. Some things you can only learn from actually experiencing it. However, when veterans have advice, or are doing something that seems successful, it probably is. There is much to be learned from former Miss Oklahomas, veterans, and the trusty Red Coats. They know what they are doing. It's okay to shed a tear, and ask for help. That's what we all need anyway!
8. Eat the donut.
In the land of Miss Oklahoma's Outstanding Teen, everything is pink, sparkly, and rainbow sprinkles. Everyone eats the cookie, and sometimes the m&m's too. In Miss Land, that isn't so much the case.. I learned. However, this is a race of endurance. I was constantly reminding myself at meal times that I needed a full plate, or I couldn't make it through a 7 hour rehearsal we had coming up. Most important, if your body isn't where you want it to be Miss Oklahoma week, it isn't going to be there by not eating, or by denying yourself the chocolate covered strawberry at dinner. Life is super sweet, and so is the donut. Just eat it, otherwise you'll be the one wishing you had!
9. Making the Top Ten does not define you.
Since I was 13 years old, I had never NOT made the top ten. This year I didn't. However, I was okay. Of course I was disappointed, but as you become the woman you're striving to be you become accepting of the fact that sometimes you are not what they are looking for. What's important to remember, however, is that it doesn't make you any less of a person. Watching the girls who made top ten that night I saw multiple future Miss Oklahomas. Then I looked around me, and I saw more future Miss Oklahomas who weren't included in the ten this year. This year I asked God to use me. I spent a lot of free time journaling and letting Him know that this year I wanted to fully commit myself to serving Him and I don't know how he used me, but I know His will was done.
10. I want to be Miss Oklahoma.
When you walk off the stage at the end of the night, you know in your heart if you want to come back. I do. I am young and eager to learn. I know I am so willing to work for something I have dreamed of since I was 8 years old. Right now, I am developing the kind of Miss Oklahoma I would like to be, and I can't wait to see what my future holds. For I know it is bright for every woman who is unapologetically herself and ready to shine a light.
xoxo,
Heather
